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Well I have been doing weight watchers for a month now and have lost 42.6 pounds so now I weigh a grand total of 547.4. I know that I have a long way to go, but it is totally worth it to me. I go weigh in tomorrow and I will be recording the weigh in on my camera. I have been feeling a little heavy this week though, so I am nervous. I hope I lose some weight at least.
I joined weight watchers because I am sick of being this big. I did weight watchers one other time in my life, but I was not successful. Whats different this time? you ask; well my whole attitude has changed since then. I now know what it takes to do this, and that is to just do it.
It is so easy to think, this is hard, I don't have to do this, I can lose weight on my own. If I start to think I can do this on my own I am delusional and then I have no chance. Also, I had a real eye opener; one night on one of my runs to a fast food place (Wendy's) to "get my fix", I ordered a triple bacon cheese burger, 2 large fries, 2 double stacks, 2 spicy chicken nuggets, and a large soda, and I ate it all. I know some of you are probably thinking how is this possible, but believe me it is. So anyway after consuming my fest I laid in my bed and thought to my self; I am going to die, I am dieing.
It took some thought to realize that I am addicted to food. One day well talking to my sister, who is a recovering drug addict, on the phone; she was telling me about what it felt like to crave a drug, how you want it so badly and it is the only thing that will make you feel better, I said to her that that is how I feel about food. That was my realization that I was an addict my self and that my drug of choice was food. You see I always felt I was better for not having addictions but really I am not better at all. I thought if my sister could do this and stay clean for so many years than I can do this too.
People around me were making healthier choices, A friend at work was a real inspiration to me. I watched her join weight watchers and stick to it whole heatedly, she never complained that it was hard, she did what she needed to do and now because of her diligence she is right where she wants to be with her weight. I thought to my self; how is it that this woman is so strong? How is she doing this without complaint? It hit me like a ton of bricks, it takes accountability, and maturity to decide that you can do this. I am not saying that this has been easy for me, because to be honest; it hasn't. Even though it is not easy I have followed it whole heatedly.
In my weakest moments I have had to tell my self to get over it and just do it. I actually feel like I am enjoying how I eat. I eat a lot of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and dairy, along with some other things I enjoy. So to those that read this blog, I hope I am able to lift you when your down, with the hope that you will be able to lift me when I have my down moments. When I lose all of my weight that I need to I will have a big party, and who knows maybe I could even go on the Ellen show. That would be awesome. So I better get some rest, for tomorrow is weigh in. Have a good night.