We all knew it was coming, so here it is.
I was not expecting this at all, and I thought I was mentally prepared for it. Little did I know that the fears would come back, and full force.
For about a month now, I have been having recurring nightmares that I go to sleep and wake up 590lbs, and in my dreams there is nothing I can do about it.
No matter how well I followed that plan in my dream, I still gained. Even though I know that is just a dream, I still had to talk my self out of feeling that way.
When I went to weight watchers and stepped on the scale, and saw that I gained 3.2lbs, I felt for the first time that sinking feeling that I often had in my dreams.
Before you start wondering if I went off plan, or if I ate something that I should not have, just let me clarify that I did not. I followed the plan to a T, and it was just my week to gain.
For the whole week I kept wondering; Am I going to lose this next week? Will I gain? It was definitely a learning experience.
You see if someone else came up to me and told me that they gained for the first time, and they followed the plan. I would ask them to look at how far they have come. I would have said that it was ok, and that the next week they would do better.
Why couldn't I grasp this for me. All I could see was the gain.
So after leaving the meeting, I called my weight watchers leader and had the opportunity to talk to her about it. She told me to look past it, and to think of how far I had come. Think of what I would say to other people.
I wasn't having any doubts about the plan, and I was not even close to thinking that I needed to stop eating right. That would be silly on my part. I just kept doing exactly what I needed to do.
I do believe that this gain will help me be prepared for others that might come, because there are going to be other hiccups. This is a life style not a diet. This is a healthy way of living, and weight loss comes along with it. I was still 450.2, that is such a dramatic change from 590, and I will never be back there, EVER!!!.
I wanted to share this with you, to show that it does happen along the way, and that yes this is a learning process, and every experience will teach us, it's our job to learn from our experiences.
Learning from our experiences is something that I am working hard to do. Now I will be better equipped to sympathize with someone who has had a gain, and I will hopefully be able to help them see through it.
Just because there was a hiccup does not mean this plan does not work. It works, I am proof of that, one gain and I am still significantly lower than my starting weight.
Here is the video of the gain, the week before I was 447.0 and this weigh in I weighed in at 450.2.